What You Missed

What You Missed By Slacking on Sunday

0 miles

Est. Temp: 85° F

05:00: It's still dark. Trucks are parked near Pima & Pinnacle Peak. Sunglasses are tucked in helmet vents (just like they do it in Europe), and the ride is underway. Spirits are high and the feeling of invincibility is palpable.

An easy warm-up gets things started:

6 miles

Est. Temp: 86° F

After a quick 700 foot climb, it's time to get down to some cycling. Having reached the summit after only 6 miles, Jayson and Andy figure the rest is really just academic.

7 miles, 4384 ft.

Est. Temp: 86° F

Andy (maybe a touch drowsy from the early hour and lack of breakfast) hits a bump so hard his water bottle falls out and his GPS shuts down.

20 miles

Est. Temp: 89° F

Jayson says "Let's stop at that gas station, I gotta’ take a leak." Buys more Gatorade, does not take leak. Warm, yellow Gatorade in clear water bottle taunts Jayson's bladder for the next few hours.

29 miles

Est. Temp: 90° F

Realizing neither rider had looked at a map, Andy and Jayson take turns trying to find a better road to ride on than Shea. Estimated distance added: 1 mi.

32 miles

Est. Temp: 90° F

An anonymous woman with a friendly dog named Cody decides she's hot, borrows Jayson's cell phone to call for a ride. Jayson will later comment on the surprising durability of said woman's skin care product(s) and/or secretions when applied to surfaces of phone. Good deed done and cell phone greased, both riders set off in search of Sweetwater, the road Andy knows goes to Cave Creek Road eventually.

35 miles

Est. Temp: 90° F

After reminding Andy that Sweetwater does not cross the 101, Jayson engineers a way back to Sweetwater via Raintree. Estimated distance added: 2 mi.

42 miles

Est. Temp: 91° F

Andy remembers something about having to go around PV Mall, but has not, to date, executed the navigational maneuver successfully. Jayson withholds commentary regarding Andy's navigational skills and general level of preparedness. A couple of backtracking loops see the intrepid explorers through to Sweetwater once again. Estimated distance added: 1 mi.

59 miles

Est. Temp: 94° F

The climb back to the trucks has begun. Andy asks Jayson "Is it hot out here or is it just me?"

62 miles

Est. Temp: 204° F

The climb continues. Andy asks Jayson "Is it cold out here or is it just me," implores hypothalamus to regulate temperature for just a few more miles. Hypothalamus reminds him it wasn't his limbic system's idea to get out of bed at 04:00, and tells him to pack sand.

67 miles

Est. Temp: 95° F

Back at the trucks. After a liter of cold water and a pint of iced coffee, Andy and his hypothalamus are on speaking terms again. Jayson withholds commentary on Andy's tendency to converse with his autonomic nervous system.

Now that you've seen the kind of fun you missed, you'll think twice before skippin' the ol' mornin' ride.